“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand.

Brain Droppings [George Carlin] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App. Kairos Brain Droppings Ebook Free download and software reviews Brain.Free PDF Download Books by George Carlin. The thinking person's comic who uses words as weapons, George Carlin shares all-new, cutting-edge opinion and observational.Mode of access: Internet.

When the sun returns, I will resume my life.' If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen. They had these people, you know?

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And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.' So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie.

And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.” ― George Carlin. “I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons.

First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to 'God' are all answered at about the same 50% rate.” ― George Carlin.

“The decay and disintegration of this culture is astonishingly amusing if you are emotionally detached from it. I have always viewed it from a safe distance, knowing I don't belong; it doesn't include me, and it never has. No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it.

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to.” ― George Carlin. “It's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That kind of thing makes me happy. The fact that people, in pursuit of a superficial look of health, give themselves a fatal disease. I love it when 'reasoning' human beings think they have figured out how to beat something and it comes right back and kicks them in the nuts. God bless the law of unintended consequences.

And the irony is impressive: Healthy people, trying to look healthier, make themselves sick. Good!” ― George Carlin.

With his signature dark and daring humor drawn from everyday life, the world at large, and the vagaries of the English language, George Carlin offers his creative finest in The Best of Braindroppings. From the random braindropping (When you sneeze, all the numbers in your head go up by one.) to favorite oxymorons (holy war, for one), and from questions to ponder (Why are there no B batteries? For instance) to his classic monologue comparing baseball and football, this little book packs in a lot of laughs. Pdf handbook of biofertilizers and microbial pesticides pdf list. Read information about the author George Denis Patrick Carlin was a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, author, and philosopher. Carlin was especially noted for his political and black humor and his observations on language, psychology, and religion along with many taboo subjects. Carlin and his 'Seven Dirty Words' comedy routine were central to the 1978 U.S.